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Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman joke:
Mar 29, 2021

Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman joke:

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, in lockdown. After several hours, a police officer notices raucous shouts and laughter coming from behind the supposedly-locked-up doors. He knocks, and shouts through the letter box "Open this door! You've all left your homes for illegal purposes!"

The men open the door and let the police officer in - and he proceeds to read them the riot act, one by one. He says to the Englishman: "Do you realise, you're only allowed to leave your home for essential purposes?"
The Englishman, inflamed with the demon drink (a John Smiths shandy *and* an alcopop) shouts back - "Who are you, sir, to tell me, sir, what to do, sir? Do you know who I am, sir?! Get out, sir!"
"Well then, mate," says the police officer, "it's a thousand pound fine for you".

The police officer turns to the Scotsman, who decides to try politeness, after the Englishman's epic fail. Plus he's only had a couple of Whisky chasers. "Do forgive us, officer, but we didn't mean any harm. We were just thirsting for a drink!"
"Very well, sir" says the police officer, "but you have left your home without legal cause, so it's a thousand pound fine for you".

The Irishman sups a mouthful of his Guinness, and thinks, furiously. He puts down his pint glass, and says: "Well, officer, I'm presuming you'll have a search warrant, then, to be entering my house?"

Lyme Regis, United Kingdom
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